{"id":646,"date":"2008-02-14T00:14:27","date_gmt":"2008-02-14T05:14:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/askastudent.utoronto.ca\/?p=646"},"modified":"2014-05-28T10:25:05","modified_gmt":"2014-05-28T15:25:05","slug":"happy-st-valentines-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/askastudent.utoronto.ca\/?p=646","title":{"rendered":"HAPPY St. VALENTINES DAY!"},"content":{"rendered":"

As a special treat for Valentines, I?ve written you all a short, elaborated tale of my grade nine Valentines Day?<\/font><\/span> <\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

Imagine that you?re in the second oldest school in all of Ontario<\/state>, possibly even <\/country-region><\/font><\/span>\nCanada<\/font><\/place>, and it?s about to celebrate its 175th<\/sup> anniversary. <\/span>Now, Little Miss Me has love in the air because her hair is ?ber curly and so ready to perform a 1960?s themed A Midsummer Night?s Dream<\/em> scene study in her drama class. <\/span>Free love and stage action was all I cared about. <\/span>So I?m walking with my good friend Emily, and all of a sudden, some rando from Ms. Craig?s French class comes up to me and says:<\/font><\/p>\n

<\/font>?Hey, Askastudent<\/font>[*]<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>, Sam<\/font>[?]<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span> is looking for you!?<\/font><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Well. <\/span>Little did you readers know, but I, Askastudent, had a crush on Sam at the beginning of the school year, and then later realized that he was no smarter than a Milk Dud. <\/span>This revelation came to me when he had our English teacher read aloud a paper about his cat to the entire class because he liked it so much. <\/span>Now it was February and you can imagine what level of respect I had for this boy. <\/span>But, I always did, and still do, like a good chase sequence.<\/font><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

11:20am rolls around and lunch time begins. <\/span>Cute Valentines with Muppets, Spiderman, and Barn Yard Animals are exchanged between friends; candy that was received from parents in the morning consumed, and giggles of MASH results echoed through the hallways. <\/span>It was Valentines and I thought nothing could go wrong. <\/span>That was, until my day turned into a Tim Burton Claymation film.<\/font><\/span>Sam found me on the way to class, and cornered me on the stairway.<\/font><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

?Hi-ya, Askastudent!? he said in an awkward voice that would have been cute if he wasn?t already, in my mind, an ignorant, wanna be Peterborough Pete.<\/font><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

?Hi, Sam.?<\/font><\/span>?Askastudent, can I ask you a question??<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>??Sure??<\/font><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

?Would you go on a date with me??<\/span> came out faster than he anticipated because of the strange look of surprise that graced his face afterwards.<\/font><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

?Well?I?uh?you know?? then, lost in the spell of the day and feeling so badly for this boy who looked like a sad puppy I said ??sure?? (With? a? lot <\/font>\n<\/place>of nice, Canadian infliction)<\/font><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

?COOL!?<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/font><\/span>And that was how it happened. <\/span>But, it got progressively worse. <\/span>I get to English class ? the same one that he had his Cat essay read out loud in ? and put this MASSIVE bag of Valentines candy on my desk. <\/span>It must have cost $20. <\/span>And if any of you can remember grade nine, twenty dollars is a\nlot <\/place>of money.<\/font><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

?Thanks?Sam?that?s so?nice?!? <\/span>It was so hard to avoid his eager, beady, unintelligible eyes.<\/font><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

?I bought it just for you!?<\/font><\/span>And, if that phrase wasn?t like the aftermath of swallowing razor blades, the really nice but sadly chubby girl sitting beside me gave me a big, fat hug and said<\/font><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

?Oh, Askastudent! <\/span>I?m so happy for you!?<\/font><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The rest of the day was as long and nauseating as the family car rides from Timmins<\/city> to<\/p>\n

\n\nLake<\/placetype>\nKennisis<\/placename><\/place>. <\/span>And believe you me, those were long and unbearable.<\/font><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Finally the end of fourth period came and my friends Emily and Abbey were laughing in the girls phys-Ed change room.<\/font><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

?Askastudent, what are you going to do with all that candy??!!? Emily asked.<\/font><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

?Not eat it.? <\/span>It made me sick to think that he put this much effort into me when I didn?t even really enjoy his company. <\/span>I imagined the possible lame phone calls, the maybe awkward dates, and how stupid the rest of his family might end up being. <\/span>I had to give the candy back.<\/font><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

As expected, he was waiting for me after class.<\/font><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

?So, do you want to see a movie on Friday??<\/font><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And, like any stereotypical, beginning of the teen movie break up, I gave it to him like this:<\/font><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

?Sam, listen, it?s not you, it?s me? I just? I don?t want? I can?t accept this candy.?<\/font><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

?No?, he said, now fighting back wimpy tears, ?You keep it.? <\/font><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And he walked away.<\/font><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The next day I heard that he rode home on the bus like his whole world had ended. <\/span>Really, I didn?t feel too guilty because we were only ?an item? for two periods of class. <\/span>Though, I guess to him, it was an eternity. <\/span>Life seems to move so slowly when you?re a teenager. <\/span>I think I got the award for shortest-lived relationship in my graduating year ? of course not in my yearbook, but my good friend Elliott was never too slow to bring it up when the words ?that was short? came up in regards to a relationship. <\/span>If my story were to have a moral, I would say don?t ask anyone out on Valentines Day unless it is spontaneous and real. <\/span>Planning these things only leads to disappointment. <\/span>And if your brain power is as limited as poor Sam, then it may be the most devastating day of your life.<\/font><\/span> <\/font> <\/span>GO GET LAID!<\/font><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

hugs and kisses, Askastudent.<\/font><\/span>
<\/p>\n

<\/font><\/p>\n

[*]<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span> <\/span>My name really isn?t Askastudent, but to remain anonymous, it is in this story \ud83d\ude09<\/span><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

[?]<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span> <\/span>His name wasn?t really Sam. <\/span>I?m trying to save him some embarrassment?<\/span><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As a special treat for Valentines, I?ve written you all a short, elaborated tale of my grade nine Valentines Day?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[38,91,23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-646","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-carwax","category-awkwardness","category-sex"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/askastudent.utoronto.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/646","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/askastudent.utoronto.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/askastudent.utoronto.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/askastudent.utoronto.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/askastudent.utoronto.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=646"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/askastudent.utoronto.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/646\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/askastudent.utoronto.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=646"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/askastudent.utoronto.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=646"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/askastudent.utoronto.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=646"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}