all i really want to do is have absolute control over the universe

so here’s the thing. I’m finished exams August 16 and then I have three and a
half weeks to do – to do – to do something – but what?! How do you suggest I
spend this time? The fall reading lists have yet to be published, and dammit,
I don’t have enough cash to head to NYC for a week. Any suggestions?

am i to believe that you have never before experienced the wonders of summer vacation and all the fun things to do during it? has your entire time so far as a student has been spent studying, doing summer classes, reading ahead, and repeating the process without a single night spent having fun? i am so glad that i’m a humanities student.

…well, at least you know that NYC is a cool place to go and do things. i was going to head over there, but since i have a huge fanbase in new york, i’d just get mobbed getting off the plane. it’s hard to relax and eat a bagel when you’re surrounded by screaming fans all the time.

i don’t have that much to go on without you actually including something about yourself, since your best option is to pursue your interests. since you haven’t supplied me with much info, i’ll just assume you have the standard university student interests: sex, drugs, & rock n roll. so here’s a few suggestions:

• the dakota tavern is the best bar in the city. they have live country music every night, and if the prospect of great live country music puts you off, i hope kris kristofferson comes to your house and tackles you. the bar is also slightly underground so you don’t get any celphone reception, which is a good thing
• there are a lot of art galleries here. my favorite is the whippersnapper gallery. if they have an exhibit, go check it out
• since you’re clearly an academic, it stands that you’re probably a nerd, so come check out the toronto comic arts festival, which is on campus this year. the coolest artists and writers of the comic world come together to sell their books and art. the last time they had this festival a couple of years ago, it got me big into comics. the background illustration of this site is from artist Bryan Lee O’Malley, who will be there to show everyone the latest installment of ultimate toronto comic Scott Pilgrim
• go dancing! i officially hate the dance cave, which no longer plays good music or has the attractive cool kids of yesteryear, but i’m just upset for getting kicked out the last time i went (i attacked a large inflatable jetski….long story…i am not joking either), but if you’re willing to brace the extreme grossness of the place, uoft students get in for free. i tend to be a fan of the boat in kensington market
• make ‘the official drink of the summer’: take a watermelon and cut into small cubes. put the cubes into a large freezer bag with the juice of 3 limes and the zest of 1. also add a whole bunch of rum. sometimes i add some freshly pureed cherries, though fresh pitted whole cherries will do…they are strong, so add a small handful. by leaving the watermelon in the freezer for a few hours, you don’t have to use as much ice. so take it out of the freezer when it’s a bit icier but not totally frozen, and throw it into a blender with however much ice you want. if it’s not blending properly, juice a few tangerines or something. and thus you have fancy watermelon booze slushies: the official drink of summer ’07
• make that drink and invite your friends over and have a party

hopefully these suggestions will appeal to you. i’d add more, but since most are based on where i go and hangout all the time, i could accidentally betray my secret identity. hope your brief summer vacation makes up for the insane studying it sounds like you’ve been doing