lower your ambitions and start shouting

Dear Aska,

Two things: Say there is this beautiful guy– so beautiful and down to earth, in fact, that I’ve stared and almost wanted to stalk him on several occasions– who is in one of my classes, he’s in his final year I think, and I’d love nothing more than for him to notice me (and maybe marry me? We’d have Brangelina-like children) in our 300+ student lecture without actually having to approach him. How should one do this?

The second thing; why does it seem to me that most NICE guys go after loud, unambitious, and party type of girls? I just don’t understand their appeal.

Let me start with your last remark, because I find your semantics interesting: you say that nice guys go after obnoxious floozies. But in your description of prince charming up there the only niceties implied are of the visual variant. SO, what you’re really asking is why beautiful guys go after loud, unambitious, party-type girls… And that is a question of an entirely different category. But let’s not get into your skewed adjectival perceptions right now. After all, we’re here to help are we not?

So how should one get a certain individual to recognize one’s innermost desires, especially those regarding matrimony, ovulating, and clich?d references to pop culture? One way of doing that is starting a casual conversation (“What do you think about having children? I mean, like, together”) before or after class.

But since by banning ?approaching’, you have ruled out conversational propinquity out of the equation, it kinda complicates the picture.

If noticing is what you’re after, you can try:

– asking particularly obnoxious questions during lecture

– wearing funny hats

– sitting close to the guy and staring at him promiscuously

– singing a song

And many more.

But I’m assuming you’re not after just any kind of noticing. And having been out of the dating scene for quite a while, I’m not sure what the latest new (legal) techniques are for the young and the wooing. But my suspicion is that casual conversation is a winner. Perhaps something school related, that could lead to a private study date, or something of that nature. As long as you don’t mention Brangelina, you’ll be fine.