• sex/romance

    masha, i will not marry you

    Good day the my dear friend!
    My name is Masha.
    I the young, romantic woman, also I am single.
    I want to get acquainted with clever and kind the man to connect our destinies.
    I hope to find the real, pure love.
    If I have interested you, you can answer on my regular mail box: dashastupina@…
    I shall be very glad, if you will write me.
    I shall look forward to hearing from you.
    Yours faithfully your new friend Masha.

    ———————————————

    Masha,

    Aska is heartless. There once was a cold, frozen heart in there but that shattered in its iciness. Now there is nothing.

    I will not write you.

    Goodbye.

  • sex/romance

    match maker, match maker make be a match, find me a lay

    Hey Aska,
    Valentine’s Day is almost upon us and it’s just making me feel worse and worse, I’ve never been on a date or had a girl interested in me once in my life, despite my otherwise enjoyable social life, and I’m almost 20! This has been getting me seriously down but this morning I “overheard” my next door neighbours in res, and that made me start to crack a bit. I honestly don’t know what to do or even what I’m asking…Sincerely,
    A student who’s missing a couple parts of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs…

    ———————————————

    Dear member of the lonely hearts club band,

    Valentine’s day ultimately is just a day to make people feel shitty. If you’re not in a relatioship you feel depressed, sit in drool covered sweats and eat tubs of icecream. If you are in a relationship you panic about what to get them, if you can sell enough drugs by then to pay for the present and that you don’t forget to shave your legs that day.

    Drinking pink coloured drinks, eating red cupcakes and dancing your night away to aggressive music is the way to go.

    But the other 364 days of the year, love and ultimately sex are on the minds of everyone …. evvvvveryone.

    NO FEAR! … or just standing up to your fears. I use to be afraid of heights, public speaking … germs … death …. ok so pretty much everything (i was one of those kids that hid indoors under the bed) and I just had to jump off a cliff (into water … im not suicidal) and lick a couple of doorknobs and I was good to go.
    What I’m suggesting is you get over the fear that is holding you back, whether it is self-doubt, fear of rejection, mocking of lack of experience, whatever. Go up to the first person you are attracted to and buy them a drink or ask to chill.

    There are a lot of people who are in the same position as you and i’m going to try to stay away from the cheese ball lines, but there’s definitely someone out there who likes you. Think of all the people you’ve liked and never told … see where i’m going with this. So don’t get down. This is a time for experiences, rejections, first kisses, first one night stands … don’t be afraid.

    ALSO … U of T has a dating service (no longer in service), its kind of a cool way to meet people as they are all looking for the same things as you are

    Things I don’t suggest:
    – hooking up with a friend/roommate

    – hooking up with that said friend’s sister, who is also your roommate … awwwwkward

    – hooking up with an ex … actually thats only bad when you realize they have a significant other after the fact

    – not being entirely sure of the gender of the person you are with

    – having a crush on that long haired smarty pants in your ENG353 class and not saying whatsup

    Hopefully this helps a bit. I have no doubt you’ll find someone.

    Moral of the day: Do one thing that scares the shit out of you every day (today I’m going to walk down Jarvis at night – kidding)

    forever and always,
    aska

  • sex/romance

    U of T dating 101

    Hi.

    I have two questions. First, I know students cannot have “relationships” with prof’s but what about TA’s? (After the course is over of course! Just being curious 😛 not to say that I don’t have a hot TA out there, which is partly why I ever go to tutorial.)

    Secondly, I don’t know how to talk to boys! I know it may seem weird, like how can I not know, right? Well, I went to an all girl highschool and obviously there were no boys there (I’m in first year). thus, I cannot communicate with them. I don’t know how. Is there something I should know? Some secret I am not aware of? I am a shy person, which makes it harder to make friends in general, but boys are the worst.

    ———————————————

    Dear Vixen-to-be

    I’m a little sad to hear that you went to an all girls school. BUT on a positive note, you got to skip all those awkward relationships that come with new hormones.

    Side bar and yet another top 5 list
    5 Awkward Highschool Boy/Girl moments you got to miss

    1) When a group of friends just date eachother, so they don’t have to talk to the scary boys/girls outside of the clan

    2) Having your boyfriend fall for your sister who is two years older than you because she’s ‘more experienced’

    3) Love triangle between 2 best friends and a boy/girl who’s in love with only one of them

    4) Love triangle between 2 best friends and a boy/girl who’s in love with both of them

    5) Love triangle between 2 best friends and a boy/girl and they give up on him/her and start dating eachother (also a time for experimenting with sexuality).

    Anywho … the word on the street is that TA’s are a go after you’re finished the course. AND if you happen to fall in love in your next tutorial, then just switch TA’s … I really can’t see the problem with that.

    What is it with the university giving us smart, tattooed babes to mark our papers? They know our hormones are going nuts right? I bet it’s so we go to class. Both you and I have made sure to go to tutorials based on the TA and not the material being discussed.

    Talking to Boys 101

    First off it’s totally not weird to not know how to talk with guys. Even the ladies who think they know how to talk to them, are really just getting hit on for their tight jeans and low cut shirts.

    The beautiful thing about university is that people WANT to meet new people here. I know your stomach probably twists when you think about talking to a certain guy, but take a couple shots and go for it.

    The great thing is that you go to university. It’s the perfect way to start a conversation. For example ‘what program are you in’ or ‘isn’t this prof a jack-ass’

    Here’s a website for pick lines for girls to use on guys (these are terrible, but might just work on a humour level)

    I’m really sorry to say that there is not a secret or Harry Potter spell that can make this easier. Just don’t stress, if it doesn’t go well with one person, there are plenty of other options. Guys are like girls, minus the talk about hair, nails, boy bands, and that time of month. But they do like movies, music, sport, the usual.

    OR you could just walk up to a guy and give him a movie style kiss, that’s sure to get their attention

    Keep me updated on you love life, I feel like once you get over your first awkward conversation, you’ll just be cruising.

    OH I ALMOST FORGOT … in a world of online dating, U of T has a website for dates and friends to be … Check it (no longer in service). Who knows how it works, but maybe you find someone who’s not a creep.

    With kindness,
    Aska

  • ROSI,  sex/romance

    lower your ambitions and start shouting

    Dear Aska,

    Two things: Say there is this beautiful guy– so beautiful and down to earth, in fact, that I’ve stared and almost wanted to stalk him on several occasions– who is in one of my classes, he’s in his final year I think, and I’d love nothing more than for him to notice me (and maybe marry me? We’d have Brangelina-like children) in our 300+ student lecture without actually having to approach him. How should one do this?

    The second thing; why does it seem to me that most NICE guys go after loud, unambitious, and party type of girls? I just don’t understand their appeal.

  • hard,  health,  sex/romance

    Don’t forget to chew.

    My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years, we hold hands, hugs and lots of kisses, but never cross the line.? I am still a virgin, and I really, really think we should have sex only after marriage. My boyfriend tasted the forbidden fruit long time ago, and I know he really really wants me, but I just can’t, even I wanted to. I am still in my second years, so I? still in school for 2-3 years (which mean I will not marry him for 2-3 years, which mean he will have to bear 2-3 years with no sex.)

    I want sex, I am horny, but I can’t give up myself and taste the forbidden fruit. I really really wanted to save myself for that special person (my boyfriend) for that special day.
    Help me!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t know what to do anymore.

  • enrollment,  sex/romance,  subject POST

    Your ton-ton will freeze before you reach the first marker!

    I am a first year student about to enrolll in the Fall, and trying to select my courses. I’m going through the telephone book sized hanbook I was given and came across a “POSt” which I remember being a “Program of Study”. It says that if I am not enrolled in a POSt then I can not pick courses. But then I thought I remember someone at the orientation saying that first years don’t have to select a POSt. Help me askastudent, you’re my only hope.Andrew

  • sex/romance

    the raciest question of the year

    Hi. Looking for the right place to snuggle with a loved one, on campus. I’ve used JCR for a while, but me and my boyfriend became kinda sick of people barging in on us. We’re both non-res, so there are a limited number of places we can get access to. Is there any almost-deserted common room that nobody (but you) knows about, or any secluded space (with a sofa) that’s quiet and private? You’re my only hope!

  • sex/romance,  weirdness

    i hope i don’t find out who done this or you’ll have it on your lawn

    Okay. Now, at first, I thought these messages were funny. (e.g. Bagira) Until I got this heart-felt epic. WTF? If anyone has answers as to why I keep getting messages from hopeful, sincere foreigners that I can’t help (nor really feel like I need to help. I donate blood!? Isn’t that enough!?) I’d really appreciate it. I feel badly for these women – especially this one. She’s so poetic: “walks on fresh air”…