My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years, we hold hands, hugs and lots of kisses, but never cross the line.? I am still a virgin, and I really, really think we should have sex only after marriage. My boyfriend tasted the forbidden fruit long time ago, and I know he really really wants me, but I just can’t, even I wanted to. I am still in my second years, so I? still in school for 2-3 years (which mean I will not marry him for 2-3 years, which mean he will have to bear 2-3 years with no sex.)
I want sex, I am horny, but I can’t give up myself and taste the forbidden fruit. I really really wanted to save myself for that special person (my boyfriend) for that special day.
Help me!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t know what to do anymore.
Good morning asker,
cross the line? ?????? ??????????? …uh… are you in a race?
the forbidden fruit? ??????????? ??????????? …passion fruit? dragon fruit? …must be rhubarb.
that special day? ???????????????? …well… priority enrolment controls dropped today…?
I’m sorry Desperado, Askastudent isn’t following your innuendoes.
I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume that you are talking about making love.
Assumption #2: you are a girl (cause you wreak of too much theism to be another boy).
Assumption #3: you’re 19-20 years old.
Assumption #4: you must have a great personality.
Assumption #5: your bf thinks you are a @&$% tease.
The first thing you need to ask yourself is WHY you can’t cross that proverbial line. Is it cultural, religious, parental? Askastudent is a liberal sole who thinks years of undue sexual censorship has created a culture of fear which pervades the bedroom (and the couch, car, laundry room, crawlspace, etc.). You are an adult in the 21st century. You have permission to make adult decisions and conduct adult behaviours.
Option 1: The Wait
I’ve been to enough Canadian weddings to know that by the end of that special day, the groom will have ingested enough CC & G’s to be as suave as a manatee in the sack. If you really, really wanna wait that long, bump back your line to the following afternoon. (This time delay is negligible in the light of the slow torture that your poor bf is currently enduring). You’ll thank me later.
Option 2: The Un-Wait
I’ve been to enough Canadian weddings to know that contraception is under utilized. Use a latex condom (sans spermicide) with water-based lube in combination with one/some of these: the pill, IUDs, diaphragms, depo provera, looking like this, etc. Discuss your sexual histories, desires, and limits, go to a comfortable place, take your time, and go at it. Now by “it” I mean incrementally work your way to sex. After holding hands, hugs and kisses, there are at least a couple of steps before coitus. If you take your time (sniff, peel, nibble, slice the fruit) it will taste considerably better in the end.
Hmmm… is this the kinda of text that is interspersed between the photos in a Playboy?
Now I feel dirty.
Ps. If you are still reading this, you haven’t taken the hint… GO HAVE SEX NOW!
Pps. Have fun.
7 Comments
Gloria
Yeah, I’d have to disagree with ASKA here. While I’m not a supporter of absintence either, it’s whatever rocks people’s boats.
If waiting for that “special day” trumps your own self-admitted horniness, get another boyfriend, one who shares your beliefs.
Best Advice
just ask out aska! no one needs to know!
Patricia
I agree with Gloria, stick to your ideals and don’t give in to please anyone.
Instead ask yourself the questions:
Why is this decision important to me?
Why did I make it in the first place?
What do I want to achieve in life?
How do I want men to treat me?
Do I deserve a commitment like marriage?
If yes, why am I special? Why do I deserve it?
How am I going to achieve my goals?
Does my boyfriend recognize how special I am?
Will he wait?
If no, why am I wasting my time?
I agree with your decision and have made it myself. After asking these questions, and studying and reading up on the effects the sexual revolution, I realized our culture’s approach to sex ironically makes sex itself boring and relationships quite abusive. To make sex more human and exciting, there must be love, and truly, commitment. If you want to learn more or get support for your decision to wait, join this club:
True Love on Campus (TLC) UofT
More at Ulife:https://ulife.utoronto.ca/organizations/view/id/1752
kyle wilson
just bang [DTF]
Anonymous
J
kkk
Dont do it!
as brutal as whatever it might be.you must think of after affect.
..what if he leaves you after you have sex?
because after all…if he really loved you,he would respect your wishes to wait
and if not move along. dump his sorry ass. you’ll be happy you respected YOURSELF in the end
thats what matters most.
patience
my girlfriend and I have been going out for four years (since highschool) now and we both share the same belief of sex only after marriage. I hope you make it clear to him that your choice (ie abstinenece) is an important one. Whatever happens between the two of you should not be rushed. If he really is committed to a life long relationship with you then he will understand and respect your decision. God Bless.