askastudent roasts again

dear askastudent, your dad called me, he told me that you uncle was set on fire by a twenty-three pound lithuanian sheep-monkey and that you should call the hospital right away as he may never walk again.

thanks eh. your mom called me. she asked that you not come home for a bit because the house was filled with ‘plumbers’ who had finally showed up to fix her ‘pipes’. wasn’t that a plot to a movie with really bad lighting? whatever. hope your explosive bowl issue is under control. see you at the family reunion in august.
cheers,
askastudent
p.s. are you still with that cousin of yours from last year’s reunion? i’m sure you’re kids will look great.