awkwardness,  first year,  friends,  new kids,  residence

All the ladies who truly feel me (throw your hands up at me).

hard to admit, but being a mama’s girl my mom is coming with me to toronto for few weeks during frosh week to settle me into my residence etc (teaching me how to use the laundry machine to avoid ‘everything is pink because of one red sock’ situation, etc etc)
but through sept 3rd and 18th there seems to be no hotel rooms available for booking
would it be possible for her to stay with me in my residence during her stay? I have a single room so maybe?


Listen, I am a proud Mama’s boy who couldn’t even recognize a washer/dryer upon entrance to residence – so I can understand where you are coming from. It is BECAUSE I can relate to you that I’m about to serve up some tough love.


Are you honestly considering having your Mom stay with you for the first 15 days of university?! Really? I think this is a bad idea for reasons three.


One. These are two of the most socially decisive weeks of your uni experience. You will seriously limit your ability to make friends and engage in (planned or impromptu) activities. Unless you have one of those vicarious mothers who’ll wear tubes tops while serving up strawberry daiquiris to your girlfriends – you cannot argue that you will be undermining your?social life before it has the chance to develop.


You’ve signed up for Frosh week right? If not go sign up now! Seriously. Go.


Okay, you’re back. Now, that you’re doing Frosh, what is your poor mother going to do with herself while you are pre-occupied with all of these exciting events? Water fights and face paint? No.


Two. You have a single room? Is it part of a suite? Do you share common spaces like a living room or bathroom? Think about the situation that you will be putting your neighbours in? The presence of a parental figure would certainly be a damper on the local scene. In fact it would just be awkward for everyone involved. ????


Does your residence have a limit on the number of consecutive nights a guest can stay? Find out.


Three. I GET that your Mom loves you, and wants to ease your transition. I really do.

I GET that you want your Mom around to teach you the in and outs of domesticity, and to be a familiar face when you are entering a new environment. BUT you should know that there is something to be said for learning independence… independently from your parents.


University is so much more than memorizing crap in class. It is about stepping out from under the protective parental umbrella, and tackling the challenges and nuances of daily living – face on. And you won’t be alone. Everyone shares these uncertainties.


I had a friend who poured bowls of cookies for breakfast, and put liquid detergent in the dryer. Did we judge her? No, we helped her and became better friends because of it.


Why don’t you be proactive and help your Mom with laundry and cooking now, before you leave? She’ll love it for more than one reason, and you’ll have a head start when you get to school.


Perhaps your Mom could visit for a couple days in the second or third week of class (when you’ve actually accumulated enough laundry to do a load). I would plan it tentatively, as you may very well find that you aren’t as incompetent as you once thought.



Sound reasonable? I really hope so, because I am not kidding around.



Hmmm… this one felt a little heavy for a Friday afternoon. How about we lighten the mood with a little spice a la 1997?


Oooh, that actually just made things even heavier, didn’t it? My bad.


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