is it normal to be 20 and still be a virgin? all my friends have done it or something close and it seems like i’m the only one on campus who hasn’t shagged anyone. thing is i don’t want to have sex yet (i have certain beliefs about this issue). i lie to everyone about my virginity and they believe me. they even come to me for advice. thing is, i’m beginning to date someone and i’m scared to tell him that i’m still a virgin and that i don’t want to sleep with him. i’m scared that he’ll tell and that he’ll leave me (that’s happened b4). are there any guys that are still virgins or who wouldn’t mind dating someone whose still a virgin? it’s not that i’m not attractive or have no personality. i’m beginning to think that maybe i should just have a one night stand and just get it over with. what do you think?
that is a refreshing question.
don’t feel bad or pressured about sex. as anyone who is doing it can attest to, it really isn’t that big a deal. i like it, it’s fun, but it’s not the be all, end all of a happy life. and it’s only really good with someone you love.
don’t sweat what your friends are doing. everybody has their own agenda and their own time frame in which they get around to whatever they do. and your time isn’t now.
sex is a tricky little gray area in the grand scheme of things. but be sure to explore it with someone that has meaning to you. think of it this way. every guy out there would prefer to be with a virgin and to feel he doesn’t have standards of ex’s to live up to. and loads of women end up regretting their first experience with sex. for myself, mine was wasted and completely meaningless, and it happened when i was in a similar position as you. i was young and hanging out with people much older than me, and i too felt that pressure to get my hump on. and to be honest, i screwed up. that simple.
nobody’s judging you or you virginity. and if they are then they’re fucking idiots and their worthless opinion isn’t worth jack shit.
stick by your beliefs. wait until it’s your time. it’s your experience to live with, and from what i understand, as long as you’re sober, you’ll always remember your first time. save it and give it to somebody worth while. and if lieing about having done it makes things easier for you, then go with it. you only need to honest about it to yourself and the person you’re humping. if this guy isn’t it then ditch him. if you want to get to know him better and think it could be going somewhere good, then be honest with him. just like that. be up front, if he’s a good guy he’ll wait.
if you have any other questions, feel free to ask me or check out SEC here. they may be able to help you with concerns if you’re really thinking about throwing down your groove.
cheers,
askastudent