Hi… I need a bit of serious help/advice…
There is this guy I’ve been liking for a few months now. We never talk, but he looks at me sometimes, ya know… I realized I have a crush on him big time and I’m scared and desperate, don’t know what to do. I don’t know what his feelings are, but he knows about my crush. I’m too shy to start talking to him, especially now, I want to run away and hide… and I so much want a big hug from him. Any advice on how to get this going? Please…
well, i think the biggest thing standing in the way of you two getting together is you. pretty harsh, but your shyness is the difference between crush and hug, between potential and actualization. talk to him. you don’t have to confess your love, just say hi. talk about the stupid everyday stuff that people talk about, and find out if he is really a nice guy. if he is, he will give you the time of day. if he exploits your shyness, shuns you, or in any other way makes you feel alienated, he is not a nice guy and he doesn’t deserve to give you a big hug.
there are a few methods to get over this shyness. the best way that i get over shyness is by knocking back a few drinks. usually i sip on a few too many and end up vomiting on crush’s shoes though. another way to do it is by entering a conversation already in progress. however, when i do and the conversation abruptly halts, i realize that i have picked a bad time and excuse myself and the ass that i am. another way is to use the phone, like in the great john cuisak 80’s love flick, say anything. sure, he sounds silly when he phones her and blabs on and on about how great he thinks she is, but it works. that’s the bottom line.
my advice is that honesty is often stupid, embarrassing and painful, but it is often the only choice that will bring about desired results. it is a leap over your shyness if you do this. i know that feeling in your stomach when he walks by, like you’re going to puke but it feels exciting. i am the master of trying to hide my feelings towards people because i cannot bring myself to talk to them. if you talk to him, and tell him that you think he’s swell, you are forcing him to respond in some way. this is what is know as breaking the ice. perhaps it feels as though you are going out on a limb, maybe out on a twig dangling over a precipice, but you have to start somewhere, so you may as well go all out. it works, you will get a reaction. i cannot say if it will be good or bad, but in my experience, in desperate situations, anything is better than imaginary conversations foddering fantastical masterbation.
you can do it. go get em, tiger.
cheers,
askastudent