So… I’ve been put on suspension after my first year here at utsc. Its safe to say I screwed up. I screwed up reaaal bad. I didn’t even recognize the probation warning until it was too late and I couldn’t do anything about it. and the course i took during my semester at probation was one that I had been struggling with throughout the summer semester. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know what to do during these four months. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? I’m completely freaking out and my parents lost hope in me and lost all trust as well. I’ve been lying to them and myself. I can say that I don’t “know” how to study, but at the end of the day, now that i look back at it, i was lazy. I was so incredibly and stupidly lazy. this is the first time that i’m coming clean. I kept telling myself during all these classes. “Oh, I can do this. it’s no big deal. I can deal with this work load. I won’t fail at all.” I did pretty well throughout the semester, maintaining a B+ or A- for course work, but in the final exam, especially the study period.. I had no motivation at all. I think there’s something wrong with me. like, i don’t think while you’re reading this, will be able to relate to this at all. I bet you’re thinking, “wow, she’s so lazy. how could she do this to herself.” Well, you’re right. i don’t know WHY i did this to myself. I guess at the time, I was just convincing myself that it would all be fine and not let the fear of possibly failing if i didn’t study get to me. I thought I knew the stuff. I was paying attention throughout the semester, how could i not know my stuff? I’m such an idiot. Please, don’t sugar coat it. I AM SUCH AN IDIOT. A FOOL. And currently writing a self-pity letter it seems. I’m sorry. most people on this forum say, they’ve been suspended bc of depression/anxiety. I can’t even say that about myself. This is nobody’s fault but entirely my own.
tl;dr… i’ve been suspended and now i don’t know what to do with my life. i don’t even know if they’ll take me back in the winter bc my gpa is so damaged and SO horrible. Its damaged beyond repair. Its going to take forever to get back to the program of my choice and complete my degree. my program of choice is limited and needs a certain gpa to get in. a 2.5+ to be exact. I can’t achieve that gpa now unless i get straight 4.0s in like, 10 courses. Do i just spend 3 sessions taking electives to boost up my gpa after i comeback until i finally get a chance to choose the subject post of my choice and complete my degree? I don’t even know if i’ll get a job after I graduate. I completely ruined my future.
Please, what do i do? I’m so lost right now. Also, I wanted to know. Can i still work on campus even though i’m temporarily not a student? Thanks.
let me make this very clear: if you’re on suspension, or probation, or you messed up at school in any way, you are not an idiot. that is not me sugar-coating – it’s a fact. besides, i’m not in the business of judging. mild teasing sometimes, but not judging.
everyone makes mistakes. frankly, very few people at university have got it right. either they’re sacrificing things they shouldn’t be to do well in school, or they’re not doing well, or they’re doing well but they’re not doing what they really want to be. this time of your life is not about doing well – you’ll have time for that when you’re forty and trying to outdo your neighbours’ lawns and incomes and choices of spouse.
the point is, you or me or anyone judging you is counter-productive. if you want to be helpful to yourself, you need to start thinking about some possible next steps.
these questions you have about whether you should take electives when you come back, how to boost your GPA, and how to go about enrolling in a subject POSt, are very particular to your situation and not questions i can answer (though they’re not UNANSWERABLE by any means – so don’t think that you’ve ruined your future or career, because that’s not just not true).
i’d recommend you meet with an academic and learning strategist and a study skills peer coach to prepare for your next term of school, should you decide to come back for one. you can also speak with your registrar’s office to get advice about which courses to take after your suspension, and that kind of thing. they’ll be much more helpful than i can be, trust me.
generally speaking, all i can say is that if you return to your studies after a suspension, you will be returning on academic probation, meaning you’ll want to do everything you can to try and get off probation.
overloading on very difficult courses is not a good idea (there’s a course load limit for a reason). overcommitting to things is not a great idea. anything you can do to make sure your GPA improves when you come back, is a good idea. but like i said, the registrar/learning strategist/peer coach are the killer combo who can give you specific tips about how to do that.
finally, you can work on campus, but you won’t be eligible for any work-study jobs because you won’t be enrolled in classes.