it seems like it’s always the time of year when everyone’s saying “it’s that time of year again!” exams never really go away, do they? even when they’re not happening, you still carry around the weight of them somewhere deep in your soul.
that’s why people have exam nightmares up until the age of like 90 or whatever. they let exams seep into their very bones, like a coca-cola stain in a carpet. that stuff’ll never wash out.
since exams are going to happen whether we want them to or not, here are some tips about how to get through the exam period alive. last year askastudent released this monolith of text which is all about study tips. this year, i thought i’d write a follow-up of EVEN MORE HELPFUL tips. because the second time has always got to be BIGGER and BETTER, or so my friends in marketing keep telling me.
TIP #1: SELF CARE.
uoft has really tried to emphasize self care recently. i think that’s great. it’s important to take a break from studying so that you can feel energized when you get back to it. whatever you can do to de-stress is great. for example, there were recently therapy dogs at Sid Smith for people to cuddle and play with.
i’m fatally allergic to dogs, so a CUTE TWIST on the therapy dog idea for myself, personally, is to go to one of these student spaces that are suddenly filled with dogs, stick my face into one of the puppy’s faces until it licks me, and then DIE.
then, all i have to do is fill out a verification of illness and injury form, and i don’t have to write my exams! hashtag use your resources.
TIP #2: CALL YOUR FRIEND WHO IS NO LONGER AND SCHOOL AND DOES NOT CARE TO COMPLAIN
“hey, madison? what’s up? *sniffle*”
“oh, nothing much, i just finished a 17-hour shift at work and i am absolutely exhausted. i had to get off the subway a stop early ’cause this guy was rubbing himself up against me. now i have to walk two blocks extra before i get home. i can’t feel my legs. my rent is due in two days and i don’t know how i’m gonna get the last $150 together because my roommate moved back to texas with her ex-boyfriend. i don’t even remember the name of the last guy who didn’t call me. anyway, what’s up with you?”
“oh, i just…i’m just kinda stressed with…you know, exams and stuff…”
“dude. i may have to sell my kidney to pay rent. you live with your parents. you’re studying instead of working at a horrible job you hate. you can buy food using OSAP money. stop complaining and get back to studying.”
“o-okay…love you, madison.”
“don’t call me again. i may not be able to pay my phone bill.”
TIP #3: CRY
here is my personal playlist of songs to cry to around exams!
1. American Idiot, by Green Day
2. Idiot, by Coldplay
3. Dumb All Over, by Frank Zappa
4. Dumb, by Jason DeRoulo
5. Tonight I Wanna Cry, by Keith Urban
TIP #4: GO INTO A CAFFEINE-INDUCED FRENZY 24 HOURS BEFORE THE EXAM. STUDY WITHOUT SLEEPING. STUDY SO HARD YOU GO A BIT CROSS-EYED. STUDY UNTIL YOUR EYEBROW STARTS TWITCHING. KEEP STUDYING EVEN AFTER YOUR EYEBROW FALLS OFF AND LIES IN SPASM ON THE FLOOR. GO INTO YOUR EXAM THE NEXT DAY WITHOUT SLEEPING. WRITE FOR THREE HOURS AS THE WALLS OF THE EXAM HALL CURVE INTO YOU LIKE BENDY STRAWS. DON’T REALLY REMEMBER HOW YOU GET HOME. SLEEP FOR FIFTEEN HOURS INSTEAD OF PREPPING FOR THE NEXT ONE.
and those are aska’s four TOP TIPS about how to prepare for your exams! tweet me @askastudentuoft letting me know how YOU study for exams!